


Fuck Me, Coward!

by Watermel0nBob



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Heavy Petting, M/M, Puns during sex, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader has male parts, reader uses they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:09:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watermel0nBob/pseuds/Watermel0nBob
Summary: It had been a misunderstanding. One that no matter how hard he tried Sans couldn't get himself out of. He said one thing when he was a little tipsy, and now he's going on a date with a human who has literally zero chill.
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	1. Fuck Me, Coward!

“Fuck me yourself, you coward.”

  
  


He was flabbergasted, shocked, utterly appalled.

  
  


“w-what?”

  
  


A dignified reply, surely.

  
  


“Did I fucking stutter?”

  
  


No. They certainly did not. He had heard them loud and clear. He just wasn’t sure how to move forward with their demand.

  
  


“uh, n-no? i’m just a little confused?”

  
  


Confused was an understatement.

  
  


“About what? Time to put your money where your mouth is and show me what you’ve got,” how someone could sound so aggressive and angry about sex of all things was  _ beyond _ him. It this the definition of hate fucking?

  
  


“o-okay?”

  
  


“Great, your place or mine?”

  
  


Were they actually serious about this?

  
  


“uh, neither?” no way in hell was he going to bring this batshit crazy human home to his brother. Then again, he wasn’t at all interested in going to whatever hellhole they crawled out of.

  
  


“Oh, so you want to fuck right here?”

  
  


“no!”

  
  


Stars, what did he get himself into???

  
  


“Having second thoughts now?” they took their first steps in his direction, and it took all of his willpower not to vanish on the spot. Despite their previous accusation, he was not a coward. He had his reservations, yes, but a coward he was not. Even if he felt like he’d been ambushed on his home turf; Grillby’s.

He had come in for his usual, a bottle of ketchup and greasy burger accompanied by perfectly crisp fries. Work had been long and boring, and he’d left feeling pent up and frustrated that nothing had been accomplished. The prospect of seeing the elemental bartender and catching up had been incredibly appealing, the perfect way to end an overall lackluster day. Until a rowdy human who had a few too many decided to run their mouth.

  
  


“How do y’all have sex anyway?” they’d slurred over their monster alcohol, trying to look a very uncomfortable woshua in the eye, only to be focusing on the side of their head.

Grillby had cut them off long ago, giving them apple juice whenever they requested another drink, and they’d been none the wiser. They had drunk three glasses before slowly coming down from their drunken stupor, but it did little to cure their lack of filter.

  
  


“Seriously, is it different for all of you? I gotta know. I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about how us humans do the dirty,” their next target was Doggo, who grew twitchier the longer he listened to them ramble. The dog biscuit had broken between his teeth at their question, and he was quickly escorted away by Greater and Lesser Dog before he had a meltdown.

  
  


“geez, sounds like someone needs a trip to the bone zone,” Sans chuckled lowly to Grillby, whose flames popped in good humor. That seemed to be all the human had needed to hear, leading to the current conversation. The one he desperately needed a way out of.

  
  


“Well skeleman? What’ll it be?” they were growing tired of waiting. He didn’t have an answer for them. At least, not one they likely wanted to hear.

  
  


“uh, raincheck?” what more could he do at this point? It wasn’t the ideal response, but he hoped it was enough to placate them while also getting himself out of this horrible, horrible mess.

  
  


They just stared at him. For an uncomfortably long period of time.

  
  


Then... they smiled?? A wide and genuine one that made the corners of their eyes crinkle.

“You one of them winin’ and dinin’ types? That’s actually kinda cute. Okay, it’s a date! Here, gimme your phone. I’ll put in my number,” they reached out cheerfully, as if twenty seconds ago they hadn’t been ready to throw down.

It was like he was on autopilot when he offered the cell to them, numbly staring as they quickly entered their info. Once it was returned he briefly reviewed the name they’d given themselves. It seemed human enough, an eggplant emoji written after it. How subtle.

  
  


“Look forward to your call Romeo. See ya later,” they winked, paying their tab with cash (and a surprisingly generous tip) and walking out the double doors.

  
  


He was sure his jaw had dropped to the bartop, only able to watch the doors swing after them and sit in the silence that followed.

  
  


Then, like nothing happened, the music started up again. The dogs were back to their usual game of cards, and the woshua was quietly chatting up a nearby beetle monster. Grillby placed another bottle of ketchup in front of him, the expression on his face could only be described as amused.

Well, fuck him, he wasn’t the one that had been forced to ask a drunken human on a date. Even if it was a poor attempt at fixing a situation he had gotten himself into. Time could only tell how things would play out.

It wasn’t like he actually had to text them after all. Hell, he could probably ghost them and lay low for a few days and never see them again.

Yeah, that sounded like a better plan.

\--------------------------------

It was midnight by the time he got home, slightly tipsy and ready to crash. He’d never hear the end of it if he’d gotten drunk, so this was the compromise, and to avoid further confrontation he teleported directly to his room and flopped unceremoniously on the unmade mattress.

He lazily scrolled through his phone, looking at memes and Papyrus’ posts on Undernet, before moving to the sparse text messages he’d received. Replying to the last one with a shitty pun he sighed, thumb lingering above his contacts.

He wasn’t going to, was he? They were nuts, drunk, and probably just looking to satiate their morbid curiosity. By morning they'll have forgotten who he was, let alone their invitation.

_ welp, i’ve had worse ideas, _ he thought lamely, deciding it was his own inebriation driving him to open up a new conversation.

  
  


**Coward:** knock, knock.

  
  


**drunkhuman:** who’s there?

  
  


**Coward:** ivana

  
  


**drunkhuman:** ivana who?

  
  


**Coward:** ivana do u

  
  


**drunkhuman:** LOL! ur dumb.

He texted them off and on throughout the night, and before long a day and time had been set for their date, and he went to sleep with a wide grin on his face.


	2. Date Me, Coward!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans finally takes them on a date. It's something else.
> 
> There is sex in this chapter. Filled with horrible puns and shitty banter. Enjoy.

He shouldn’t have told Papyrus about the date. Everything would have been so much easier for him. He could have put in his usually minimal effort, and probably turned out fine. Maybe even enjoyed himself a little.

  
  


Now though, well, he was utterly fucked.

  
  


“YOU HAVE... A DATE!?!” his shriek could have broken the sound barrier let alone Sans’ eardrums... if he had any. What soon followed could only be described as a delighted squeal when Sans confirmed he did, in fact, have a date, and explained what he’d planned for them.

  
  


“OH MY POOR, HORRIFICALLY MISINFORMED, BROTHER!” Papyrus cooed, as if doting on a small child, “WHATEVER WILL WE DO WITH YOU? YOU’RE HOPELESS! SURELY YOU DON’T THINK _THAT_ WILL IMPRESS YOUR DATEMATE, DO YOU?”

  
  


If he were honest, he didn’t really care if he impressed them. He just wanted to hold up his end of the bargain. He may not put effort into a lot of things, including this poor excuse of a date, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t follow through on his commitments. Mostly.

  
  


“m’sure it’ll be fine. they’re pretty chill,” that was so far from the truth it was almost funny, but Papyrus didn’t need to know just how _not chill_ the human was. It wasn’t like he’d ever meet them. Sans would make sure of that.

  
  


“‘CHILL’ OR NOT SANS, YOU HAVE TO PUT MORE EFFORT IN THAN... WELL, THIS!” he gestured wildly at Sans’ appearance, as if that explained everything.

  
  


“not sure what the problem is bro,” he looked down at his outfit, the same one he wore every day since well, forever, “there ain’t even any stains.”

  
  


“A TRULY THOUGHTFUL GESTURE ON YOUR PART.”

  
  


“see, ya get me. whatever would i do without a cool bro like you?” even though he knew he was egging his brother on, he meant every word he said. Where _would_ he be without Papyrus keeping him going?

  
  


“A LOT OF THE SAME, MOSTLY. EXCEPT IN A MUCH MESSIER HOUSE WITH A LOT MORE TASTELESS DECOR. NOW IF YOU’RE DONE PRETENDING I’M GOING TO LET YOU WALK OUT THE DOOR WEARING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, LET’S FIND YOU A _REAL_ DATE OUTFIT!”

  
  


“hey, don’t knock it til ya try it,” he shrugged, walking right past the tall skeleton who all at once realized his play on words and physically cringed.

  
  


“ _PLEASE_ TELL ME YOU WON’T PUN YOUR DATE TO DEATH, BROTHER? I CAN’T AFFORD TO BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL!” He was trying exceptionally hard to sound offended. Sans saw right through him.

  
  


“heh, don’t bar me from a good time bro. might have to make a break for it.”

  
  


The indignant screech that followed was so worth it.

  
  


\--------------------------------

  
  


“ _Snrk_ , who picked your outfit, your mother?” they didn’t even try to hide their amusement. Not that he could blame them.

  
  


“my brother actually,” he didn’t bother glancing down to remind himself how atrocious his attire was. It had been permanently burned into his memory when he was forced to stare at it in the mirror for _twenty minutes_ while Papyrus preened and fawned over him.

  
  


“Fuck, really? Where did he get his inspiration? A David Bowie fan club?” they were cackling at this point, and if he got the reference he probably would be too.

  
  


“most of his ideas come from mettaton, actually,” he somehow restrained a grimace at the mention of the flamboyant monster star. He just didn’t get the hype around him.

  
  


“That bucket of bolts that slaps autotune on a bunch of bullshit lyrics and calls it art?”

  
  


Oh. Oh my. He might actually enjoy this date after all.

  
  


He was laughing before he could stop himself, and when he managed to catch his breath he was greeted by a very satisfied grin. They literally had no chill. He was becoming more and more okay with it.

  
  


“So, where we goin? I’m fucking starving,” they fell into step with his casual stride, stuffing their hands into their pockets.

Their outfit wasn’t much, a nicer shirt that complimented their body in a flattering color, slim jeans that were clean, but not pristine, and a pair of simple, practical shoes. Something that he would have worn, had his brother not intervened in the worst possible way.

  
  


“there’s this burger joint i’m rather fond of,” he replied, content with the lackadaisical pace he’d set for their walk, even if it meant the human’s longer legs struggled with keeping it.

  
  


“I’m always down for a good burg,” they affirmed, whistling a nameless tune the rest of the way. They stopped upon seeing where he had chosen to eat.

  
  


“Dude, this is where we met. The first date and you can’t even bother finding a _new_ spot to eat?”

  
  


“i know you like it though.”

  
  


“Wow. What a fucking cop out,” they laughed anyway, shoulder checking him before making their way inside Grillby’s. He followed behind with a grin too smug for his own good. Once seated, he flagged the pub’s namesake over and ordered two beers.

  
  


“make sure i get the check,” he insisted, winking a socket at his companion, “gotta treat my date right by makin’ sure they don’t pay a cent.”

“Woah, got ourselves a big spender here. Make it two beers for me hot stuff, I’m going wild tonight,” they batted their lashes shamelessly before winking at the flame monster who wanted nothing to do with either of them. It was a miracle he hadn’t kicked them out on sight honestly.

  
  


“yeah, grillbz is pretty smokin’.”

  
  


“Bet he thinks he’s hot shit.”

  
  


“more like too hot to handle.”

  
  


“Does his touch light you on fire?”

  
  


“nah, can get pretty steamy though.”

  
  


They slapped a hand on the table at a sudden epiphany. Their eyes were owlish as they zeroed in on him.

  
  


“Wait, have you _boned_ the bartender?” it was barely above a whisper, but still betrayed their bubbling curiosity. This was the exact moment Grillby returned with their drinks, nearly dropping the tray at the inquiry. He placed the beverages down with a little too much force, staring down his glasses scornfully.

  
  


“easy grillbz, no need to get heated,” he snickered, enjoying his friend’s embarrassment too much to feel it himself. This only encouraged the human, who didn’t miss a beat.

  
  


“C’mon Sparky, I didn’t take you for a hothead. Nothin’ wrong with a little skeleton love. Must get bonely around here when burning the midnight oil,” Sans nearly choked on his beer, sputtering between laughs and trying his damndest to hide his blush. Stars, they were something else.

  
  


“oh geez, _snrk_ , you really _are_ shameless, kid,” it came off as an insult, but he couldn’t help but find their brazen approach oddly refreshing. There weren’t many people he knew that could speak so unabashedly.

  
  


“Obviously, I’m on a date with you after all.”

  
  


“says the human who demanded i fuck them,” he downed the rest of his beer wordlessly, the soft slink of the bottle on the table filling the lingering silence. They smirked, running their tongue around the rim of their own bottle before taking a hearty swill.

  
  


“Yeah, you still haven’t come through on that. Kinda disappointed.”

  
  


His sockets widened, and he couldn’t say anything else after that. Grillby came and went with the food, and they wasted no time digging in.

They made slow work of their burger, lapping up the grease running down their fingers expertly, eyes never leaving his. They took a bite and moaned, licking their lips way more than necessary, shimmying in their spot as if it was too much.

  
  


“Damn.... that’s an orgasmic burger,” they praised in a sultry tone. He swore his soul momentarily stopped.

  
  


If fate and the powers that may be were real, he’d believe the universe had made this human with him in mind.

  
  


“i... we gotta go,” he stood too quickly for it to come off as casual, a skeletal hand joining their soft one.

  
  


“Hm? Go where? Trying to skip out on the bill funny man?” they didn’t entirely protest, aside from one fleeting glance at their half finished meal.

  
  


“i’m makin’ good on my promise,” he muttered mostly to himself in his rush, breezing past Grillby with a giddy human in tow, “put it on my tab grillbz!”

  
  


“ _Sans_ ,” he crackled indignantly, “Not where customers can see!”

  
  


“m’takin’ a shortcut!” he yelled behind them just as the bathroom door closed. He wasted no time snaking an arm around their waist, pulling them flush to his broad chest and tilting up his skull to croon in their ear, “hold tight, and close your eyes.”

  
  


In what felt like a blink they were crashing onto his bed, a gasp escaping them as they sought for stability. They found it on the floor, which they rolled onto immediately with a heaving shudder.

  
  


“Oh my God. What the fuck. What the actual fuck!” they didn’t bother removing their face from the stained carpet, their panicked pants coming out muffled.

  
  


“s-shit! shoulda gave ya more warnin’,” he apologized, kneeling down and rubbing circles on their back.

  
  


“Are... are you kidding me? That was so fucking _amazing_!” they righted themselves momentarily, shifting to meet his eyes and grab his shoulders. Then in a moment of impulsivity, they kissed him on the teeth.

  
  


Their lips were warm, leaving a lingering heat in their wake as they moved from the middle of his grin to the side, trailing to his curved jaw, all the way down to settle on his vertebrae. They sat there briefly, as if getting a feel for what a literal spine felt like in their mouth, then suddenly gave an experimental lick.

  
  


The shiver that ran along each column was instant, and if that wasn’t a dead giveaway of his pleasure, then the strangled groan that immediately followed sure was. They hummed in contentment, the vibration sending pleasing shocks into his bones and leaving him wanting more.

  
  


“d-damn kid, didn’t know you were so easily impressed,” he chuckled to try and hide his obvious arousal. They weren’t buying it, moving themselves into his lap for better access to his clavicle.

  
  


“Mmm, show me another magic trick,” they whispered heatedly into it, running their tongue along the smooth bone in the process and drawing out a much deeper moan. Not satisfied with the amount of surface area currently at their disposal, they tugged at his outfit with thinly veiled distaste.

  
  


“Ditch the clown costume, it’s showtime,” they commanded, and who was he to argue with that plan? He made quick work of the garment...garments? Fuck who cares, it was gone and he was now ripe for the taking.

  
  


“i shoulda known you’d make a joke of this,” he leaned into their mouth because, stars, was it soft, and the way they used that tongue had to be illegal.

  
  


“Only joke around here is your brother’s sense of fashion,” they snorted, ready to move lower only to be stopped by his hand.

  
  


“hey, that’s my bro dude. he’s all i got left in this world,” his expression was serious, and it left them feeling slightly reprimanded. They went to apologize, only to be stopped by a poorly hidden snicker.

  
  


“i’m jokin’, that outfit was terrible. but seriously, don’t insult my brother.”

  
  


“Duly noted. Now, may I?”

  
  


“right. continue.”

  
  


They didn’t hesitate, pushing him down to the floor and freely roaming the expanse of his ribs with their mouth. The lower they went the louder the noises he made, grasping at whatever he could of their squishy body. He felt it before he saw the telltale glow of his magic beginning to manifest itself. They did too, and immediately questioned it.

  
  


“What the fuck is that?”

  
  


“uh, my magic’s tryin’ to manifest.”

  
  


“Manifest what?”

  
  


“... my dick?” he was thoroughly confused at this point. Their equally bewildered expression wasn’t reassuring in the slightest.

  
  


“... You had a dick? This entire time?” they said it slowly, trying to process something he felt they were putting way too much thought into. It made him wonder exactly what they were expecting, which led him to asking.

  
  


“what _were_ you expectin’? a vagina?”

  
  


“First of all, ew, just say pussy like the rest of us. Secondly, I wasn’t expecting anything!” their previous exploration of his body had ground to a screeching halt, seemingly much more interested in the conversation at hand, “As in, just bones.”

  
  


This, for some reason, took him by surprise. So much so that he couldn’t help but question it.

  
  


“you’ve been wantin’ to fuck me this entire time, with the assumption that i’m literally all bone?”

  
  


“You say that like it’s weird??? Why would I, a human who knows absolutely _zilch_ about monsters and their anatomy, think that skeletons can magically manifest their own genitalia? In what realm of possibility would that make sense?” they stared at him as if he was fucking nuts. He, in turn, stared back as if _they_ were fucking nuts. Some things just couldn’t be mutually understood it seemed.

  
  


“Well, uh, i do have one. a dick. which i want to use. like, right now. so can we maybe?”

  
  


“Oh shit, sure! Summon away or whatever.”

  
  


“that’s not... _snrk_... that isn’t how it- okay, okay lemme just,” he groped their ass, cupping it in his hand while the other one ran along their chest and stomach. The touch was enough to elicit a soft sigh from the human, who went back to putting their mouth to use. In no time at all his magic had shaped into a glowing blue member, one that quickly captured his partner’s attention.

  
  


“Oh my God, it’s like a glow stick,” they whispered in awe at the sight, running a tentative finger along its length. It twitched in response, another shiver running down his spine. He couldn’t help but find their fascination somewhat adorable. A term he previously would have never associated with this person.

  
  


“ready and waiting to light you up,” he chuckled, gripping their hips to tug at the jeans blocking him from his goal. They stopped him, but only so they could bring their face closer to his shaft and stare at it hesitantly.

  
  


“Can... can I suck it?”

  
  


“sure? i’m not gonna say no to a blowjob.”

  
  


“Will you take a picture of it in my mouth?”

  
  


“woah, you an exhibitionist or somethin’?” maybe they should have discussed their preferences before diving right in.

  
  


“I wanna see if it’ll make my face glow!” that made him laugh way harder than it should have, ribs rattling from the force as tears pricked his sockets. They didn’t even look embarrassed at this declaration, as if their reasoning was perfectly sound. That made him laugh even harder.

  
  


“oh my god... stars... are you even _real_? this has to be a bizarre wet dream.”

  
  


“I’m flattered you’d think I’d ever show up in your dreams.”

  
  


“bold words from someone who’s dangerously close to gettin’ their mouth stuffed by my cock,” he growled, chancing to tangle his fingers in their hair and tugging. The slight pull is enough to snap them into focus, eyes lidded in a blissful haze at the sensation. When they didn’t protest further, he guided them to the cyan head twitching for release.

The way their lips felt around his girth was indescribable, but couldn’t compare to the welcoming _heat_ that permeated behind them. Wet, soft and inviting, their tongue didn’t hesitate to slither along the ecto and find the spots that made him shudder. His grip tightened, and it was with great difficulty he restrained from pressing his hip bones to their face and grind.

It seemed he wasn’t entirely subtle though, for as soon as they’d lubed his member with enough saliva and precum, they practically swallowed it in one fluid motion. The noise that left him in that moment could only be described as lewd and embarrassing, but he really couldn’t care because damn did it feel great.

  
  


“ya tryin’ to skip to the finale?” he gasped, sweat pouring from his skull.

  
  


His inquiry was enough for them to pull back, a trail of blue goo following close behind. Their face was flushed, and the way their swollen lips looked so tantalizing with his precum clinging to them made many sinful thoughts cross his mind.

  
  


“Oh we’re nowhere near curtain call boy,” the human breathed, a devious glimmer in those beautiful eyes. They grasped his length in their hand, firmly squeezing to assess his sensitivity, before returning to their previous task. It was almost too much, the warm friction of their skin against his magic, their mouth doing delightful things to his tip, if he didn’t stop them now he wouldn’t make it to-

  
  


“i-i can’t take much more. s’now or never human.”

  
  


They snorted, muttering, “Amatuer,” before pulling away to remove their jeans. He palmed himself while waiting, taking in the show of them wiggling their hips to free themselves from their denim prison. They shot a flirtatious wink his way, taking their time with their undergarments in a way that drove him wild.

As soon as their buttcheeks made an appearance over the fabric he made his move, playfully tackling them to the bed and pinching. A garbled cry was his reward, their face blushing for the first time from emotion. He chuckled, aiming to pinch their ass again only to have his phalanges slapped away.

  
  


“S-Stop!” they sputtered, fighting to get away from his pesky hands. He stopped this by putting his weight on their body, running a hand along their left cheek and giving it a hardy smack. The startled squeak they made was simply delightful, and he couldn’t help but give in to the desire of spanking them again.

  
  


“H-Hold on, fuck, you’re crushing my boner,” they shimmied, hoping it would be enough, only to inadvertently grind their ass into Sans’ pelvis. He groaned, bucking out of reflex against their soft skin. It was like they wanted him to cum before he could really have fun with them.

They weren’t opposed to the idea of him dry humping them though, and if their smug smirk was anything to go by, they were definitely going to have fun with it. Arching their back just so, they managed to catch his cock between their cheeks, and with minimal effort they ground heavily against it.

  
  


“stars, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he growled, roughly grabbing their hips and rutting against their backside. They giggled, meeting each thrust of his hips with their own while their free hand began to stroke their shaft. It was quick and needy, like they couldn’t get enough no matter how hard they tried, and this only spurned Sans to quicken his pace. When pre began to dribble from his tip and down onto their skin, he stopped to assess them.

  
  


“how much prep ya need?”

  
  


“Mm? Not a lot, your pre should do the trick, though saliva would be better,” they seemed to be half listening, too focused on their own need for release to really care what he wanted. Little brat. It was kind of hot though.

  
  


“good enough,” he fisted his cock, thoroughly coating his phalanges with pre to prepare. He moved to enter the first finger, but paused when a wonderful idea came to mind. Suddenly noticing the lack of attention to their behind, the human pouted.

  
  


“What’s the hold up skeleman? Thought you couldn’t- _ohmph_ ,” whatever they had to say died on their lips when he inserted his tongue into their entrance, it quickly replaced with a desperate keen. It was like music, and the more he wiggled his tongue the louder it got, dipping in and out like a beautiful symphony. They were right about one thing, they didn’t need a lot of prepping.

He still slipped in two fingers to be certain, his spit making them glide in and out effortlessly. It apparently wasn’t enough if the impatient cries coming from in front of him were any indication, but he figured it was better safe than sorry.

  
  


“forgive me for not wanting to rip you a new one.”

  
  


“ _Really?_ Now is when you decide to be punny?”

  
  


“i’m just here for a pun time.”

  
  


“Get off me. We’re done. I can’t work in these terrible conditions.”

  
  


He silenced them with a quick nip to their spine, a small enough distraction for him to get away with slipping himself into their ass swiftly. They hissed in surprise, feeling only momentary pain that was quickly overpowered by pleasure. He held them still, waiting for their insides to adjust to his width with practiced patience.

  
  


“you good?”

  
  


“We’re supposed to be fucking, not making _love_. Now shut up and bone me skeleton!”

  
  


He snorted, pulling out slightly when he felt them relax, only to swiftly thrust back in. He was given a soft ‘oomph’ for his troubles, but before long they were moaning beneath him as he set a steady pace. It was satisfying, no, gratifying to know he could make this foul-mouthed human a whimpering mess with his touch. So pliable, open and needy for his shallow thrusts. Like they couldn’t live without this, without him.

  
  


“you’re so fuckin’ tight. such a dirty little human beggin’ me to fuck them silly. you just can’t get enough of this cock,” his pace quickened, fingertips digging into their flesh and bruising them. They didn’t seem to mind, their heated cries rising in pitch as he tried to find that special spot with each shift of his pelvis.

  
  


“Fuck, you feel so good. Please don’t stop!” they begged between breaths, and it nearly sent him over the edge. As much as he wanted that, to fill them up with his seed and see it dripping around his cock, he wanted to at least give them the release they so desperately deserved.

  
  


“that’s right, beg for my cock like the filthy human you are. tell me how bad you want it,” his climax was building at an alarming pace, he was worried he wouldn’t make it. He reached clumsily in between their legs, his ribs pressing against their sweaty back. He found his prize, their quivering, dripping dick, and he used the lubrication to quickly rub it. They wailed at the stimulation, incoherent pleas falling out of their mouth with every stroke.

  
  


“Please, mm, I- Fuck me Bone Daddy!” they came quick and hard, shuddering in his hand at each burst of euphoria. Their ass clenched from the force, and it was enough for Sans to reach his own peak, laughing between moans at the pet name. When he couldn’t thrust anymore he pulled away, magic dispersing and his body flopping beside the human’s.

  
  


The only sound in the dark room was their labored breathing, both coming down from their high slowly. Whether it was minutes or hours of silence, he couldn’t say, but all too soon they were speaking.

  
  


“You don’t even make your bed? Fucking gross.”

  
  


“ _snrk,_ is that any way to talk to your dad?”

  
  


“Wha- Oh hell no!”

  
  


“watch your language, or i’ll ground you for a week.”

  
  


“This was a mistake. I regret everything.”

  
  


“the cum on my bed says otherwise.”

  
  


“Fuck you!”

  
  


“damn, we just finished, you want round two already?”

  
  


An abrupt banging on his door interrupted their banter, followed by a muffled yet still loud, “SANS! WHEN YOU AND YOUR DATEMATE ARE DONE DOING UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO EACH OTHER, PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCK IN THE LIVING ROOM! PREFERABLY CLOTHED AND NOT SMELLING LIKE SEX!”

  
  


“...ok.”

  
  


“PLEASE INFORM YOUR DATEMATE THEY’RE MORE THAN WELCOME TO SHOWER AND STAY THE NIGHT SHOULD THEY NEED.”

  
  


For some reason, the human decided to speak, “Um, thanks? Random and abnormally loud voice?”

  
  


“OH! YOU’RE QUITE WELCOME HUMAN! PLEASE CALL ME PAPYRUS, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU’RE NOT BUSY BASKING IN THE AFTERGLOW. I’M GOING TO TRY AND ERASE THE LEWD NOISES I HEARD FROM MY MIND NOW. GOODNIGHT!”

  
  


“night bro”

“Goodnight?”

  
  


There was the sound of footsteps retreating, followed by a door opening and closing. An uncomfortable silence ensued. Sans to his credit looked mortified, refusing to look the human in the eye as they blankly stared at the popcorn ceiling.

  
  


Another beat of silence, and then, “Well he seems nice.”

  
  


“he’s the coolest.”

  
  


“Wow, you actually mean that. Like some sentimental schmuck.”

  
  


“schmuck you.”

  
  


They both dissolved into a fit of laughter, holding onto each other until they couldn’t stand laying in their mess any longer. Sans offered the shower to them first, to which they pulled him right along with a wicked grin on their face. He didn’t protest, and if anyone would later ask him how his date went with the human...

  
  


Well, he supposed it went pretty great.


End file.
